Letter from Former USM Student

When I heard the Robinsons’ story, I could not help but relive the trauma that USM put me through five years ago. I attended USM from 1st grade to 11th grade (2006-2017) before my younger sister, Louise, and I were forced by USM to leave before my senior year and my sister’s first year of high school. To learn that USM’s behavior has not changed, even with a new Head of School, is astounding; it reveals that the expulsion of students as a punishment for inquisitive parents is part of their playbook.

In my story, as well as the many stories being revealed as a result of the Robinson family’s efforts, it is clear that USM has a systemic problem. USM treats its students, faculty, and families in a disrespectful, untrustworthy, dishonest, unfair and unkind manner, using mercenary-like tactics more akin to a corporation or government than a school. The decision to expel students for any behavior not of their own is the highest form of betrayal. 

For 11 years, my three siblings and I were respected, successful, and active USM community members who sought to live by the tenets of USM’s Common Trust. Then, on February 1, 2017, I vividly remember being handed a letter that was addressed to my parents from USM. It arrived like a legal action via a courier and required a signature of receipt. The letter began, “We are writing to inform you that University School will not be issuing next year’s enrollment contracts for Stewart and Louise. We are making this decision based on the School’s opinion that you, as parents, have been in violation of the following language from our enrollment contract…” 

USM went on further to express concern about “Louise moving on to the Upper School and the impact it could have on the School community.” Everyone who knows Louise would agree that she is an accomplished student, well-liked, and a natural-born leader. We and our older siblings never received anything but glowingly positive feedback on all of our teacher progress reports. But that afternoon, 14-year-old Louise was told by the school community she had valued and trusted since Pre-Kindergarten that she was no longer wanted or welcome, and not for any of her own actions. In fact, there was no wrongdoing or specific event that culminated in this “last resort” decision by the USM administration. 

The justification for USM’s actions beyond a myriad of mere accusations was never given with specific examples in writing for my family or the Robinsons to respond to. Nor were any warnings leading up to this severe action ever given. There was no outreach or discussion from anyone on the Board of Trustees to see what the problem was. Like Craig and Kelly Robinson, my parents were vilified as evil troublemakers for raising their hands, being inquisitive, and seeking and requesting change for the betterment of the students and faculty. They brought examples about racial inequity and curriculum disadvantages to the forefront, oftentimes on behalf of peers, friends, and many USM faculty who shared similar beliefs with us but also felt silenced and too scared to speak up in the toxic atmosphere created by the USM administrators for fear of being fired. 

My sister was asked not to return to USM while I was given an unclear, ambiguous “maybe you can stay, maybe you can’t.” The inconsistency in our treatment is still a mystery and exemplifies USM’s complete disregard for the well-being of its students. If my parents were truly a “threat to the community” in some way, then why allow me to return but not my sister? The letter said, “It is our intention to monitor the situation and reevaluate our ability to release a contract for Stewart as we sincerely hope he can finish his senior year at USM. In order for us to do so, the following parameters will need to be met from now until the end of the school year.” 

The four parameters were as follows (again, only directed at my parents):

1. No direct contact with teachers. Any communication (email, telephone, written, etc.) necessary to support Stewart or Louise will need to be directed to their respective division heads. The division head will then follow through appropriately.

2. No attendance at school events. If you wish to attend an event, such as the Eighth Grade Closing Ceremony, you must obtain permission from the Middle School Division Head or Upper School Division Head for US Events.

3. You will not participate on any committees, i.e. Alumni Board, for the rest of Stewart’s time at USM.

4. You will not engage in disparaging conversations about USM faculty, administrators, policies, or programs with anyone.

The senior administrative team, composed of Laura Fuller (Head of School), Stuart Cushman (Head of Upper School), and Pamela Nosbusch (Head of Middle School), signed the letter and added that the restrictions were created “in an attempt to ensure Stewart is able to finish his USM career successfully without the possibility of additional disruptions. We will revisit the parameters in June if we are in a positive position to do so based on your [my parents’] conduct during the next few months.” Therefore, for the last four and a half months of my junior year, that direct threat hung over me, and I lived in constant fear of expulsion. 

For years, students at USM had witnessed students and faculty being kicked out of the community in the harshest and most threatening ways, so I was abundantly aware of the USM administration’s ability to follow through on harming my family and me. I kept my head down, persevered in the classroom, and focused on giving my best performance on the lacrosse field, not knowing which teachers to trust or confide in. Thankfully, many of the fantastic teachers at USM sought to help us even at their own peril if discovered. I cannot thank those faculty members enough. They are my role models and showed me, more than USM ever could, what good character means.

My father fostered my love for lacrosse and coached many of my out-of-school teams growing up. He wanted to stay involved in the USM lacrosse community and requested to be able to attend my remaining lacrosse games that school year. My parents were invited to make this type of request as outlined in the second parameter of their conditions. To my surprise, Laura Fuller, a longtime advocate for USM lacrosse, denied his request and maintained his restraining order from USM’s campus and events. After noticing his absence from two games in a row, which was uncharacteristic of my dad since he could always be found on the sidelines or at the scorer’s table being the timekeeper or statistics recorder, many of my teammates and coaches asked me where he was. With reluctance and frustration, I had to make the awkward excuse that he was “busy.” It was hard, but USM forced me to lie to my friends and coaches because a single word escaping my lips about our “gag order” could result in my immediate expulsion.

I struggled to persevere as the threat to my family by a community that was supposed to be safe was damaging. Not a single day went by that I wasn’t constantly looking over my shoulder, afraid of who might be spying on me to find a reason to expel me. Other requests were made by my parents to attend important on-campus events, to which Stuart Cushman and Pamela Nosbusch responded with silence, “we will circle back with you on this,” or refusal. Mr. Cushman and Mrs. Nosbusch even taunted Louise and me on several occasions, asking where our parents were or if they were coming to an event when they knew my parents’ request had been rejected or unanswered, further highlighting their maliciousness and complete disregard for our mental health. 

So what were the questions my parents raised that resulted in this extreme and poor treatment? There were a lot of unpopular changes being made at USM starting around 2009, probably due to the recession and financial constraints. My parents did not have any negative opinions about USM or its top administrators that many other parents, students, and faculty didn’t also share and discuss openly. They asked questions about USM’s decision to increase the number of students per 4th grade classroom by 25%. They asked questions about changes in the high school curriculum, mainly regarding a new “block schedule” that decreased weekly classroom minutes, severely restricting the teachers’ ability to teach science and math AP classes. In fact, many teachers shared the same sentiment about the class size, coursework, and curriculum changes being contemplated by USM, and many reached out to my parents and other concerned parents asking them to help make positive changes at USM. But in USM’s letter to my parents, they were described as “negatively disruptive” and “laced with disrespectful and damaging rhetoric aimed at the teacher or administrator at the meeting.” I was shocked by the way USM portrayed my parents in such a negative manner. When other parents asked USM why we were being expelled, USM only answered that they could not discuss it, implying my parents had done something physically threatening. USM is currently disparaging the Robinsons in response to their recent letter and media release and they have done the same to other families as well. I can only aspire to have the backbone required to stand up, stick up for others, and voice concerns like my parents and the Robinsons have. 

USM’s letter continued: “This behavior is so out of line in comparison to the respectful discussions that we have with other parents who have brought concerns to our attention, that we have no other choice but to come to the conclusion that you are not happy with University School and, in fact, are detrimental to our mission of building a positive community amongst our parents, alums, faculty, and students.” 

How could that be true when, at the same time, Gregg Bach, the Assistant Head of School, allowed and encouraged his son, a close friend of my brother’s, to spend just about every weekend at our house during high school? Mr. Bach told my parents several times that he respected them as parents and was happy his son spent so much time at our house. Similarly, my mother who served on the USM Alumni Board was asked to extend her tenure from a single four-year term to over ten years. So, when the administration and board misconstrued my parents’ actions as sinister and assumed that my parents must be unhappy with USM, we were astonished and confused. Being part of a family that has attended USM for five generations (since the founding of its predecessor school in the late 1800s), if my parents were to be guilty of anything, it may be that they cared about USM too much to not stand up and try to make it a better place for everyone. If important questions about increasing class sizes, decreasing class time, or, in the Robinson’s case, about race and socioeconomic issues lead to the expulsion of innocent students and the vilification of the questioning parents, then USM is more like an autocratic government where different viewpoints are forbidden than a healthy community.

Dealing with Louise’s trauma of being told that she would not be able to embark on her high school journey alongside her friends since pre-Kindergarten was hard. We shared long nights together contemplating the situation, mentally beating ourselves up at the thought of our family’s character being questioned. Writing my story now, I can feel the pain that my sister and I felt that year. When we hit a low point, we reread all of our teachers’ comments of praise from our old report cards, including comments from teachers saying my parents should write a book on raising four successful children which was the ultimate compliment to my siblings and me as much as to my parents. 

Ultimately, USM decided to offer me enrollment for my senior year, perhaps because I was elected to a Prefect position by the entire high school faculty and student body. However, if I stayed at USM, my family would not be allowed on campus and the threat of expulsion at any time was too much for me. I chose to support my sister and leave USM to join her at a new school in a new city. In retrospect, it was a great decision. At our new school, we found exactly the type of supportive school community that we needed: a place with excellent academics where the students, faculty, coaches, and administration support and value each other. Of course we missed our old friends, but Louise and I flourished at our new school and Louise was even elected President of the Student Body her senior year. It has been many years now since our traumatic experience at USM. We have both overcome that hardship and thankfully we have been able to use that experience to help propel us forward in ways we would not have been able to if we had stayed at USM.

Before now, I have never felt comfortable sharing my story publicly. I am so grateful to Craig and Kelly Robinson for all their efforts to shine a bright light on USM’s systemic problems and give me and others a platform to share our stories. I have experienced the weight similar to what the Robinson boys are carrying on their shoulders. They may not understand it now, but with time, I hope that the example that their parents have shown to stand up and break the silence, even at great personal expense, will fuel their strength of character as it did for Louise and me.